Unwritten etiquette for dating in the digital era
Have you ever been in a situation when you are chatting to your match, and they suddenly turn very cold? Or perhaps you have been insisting on a date with your potential suitor, and they keep declining all the time? It could be that you broke online dating etiquette! All of us are aware of the communication rules that exist in real life. Now, when our relationships are going digital and most of our conversations are happening online, how do we build up virtual communication?
The Internet is making us feel safe and more discrete. However, there is also a temptation for some online dating users to behave in a way that is not allowed in real life. As the terms texting and online dating etiquette are getting settled in our daily conversation, let’s review what they actually mean and how to ensure you follow through.
The ultimate texting etiquette for dating platforms
We live during weird times when the majority of our conversations are happening through text messages, and receiving a real phone call scares us off. «Why can’t you send a text about the matter instead of calling me?» is a common thought in our heads these days. Therefore, knowing the unwritten rules of effective text communication can really help you boost the quality of online conversations and become the so-called «Good Texter», which, by the way, is a highly valuable quality nowadays.
Having a conversation through a messenger or online dating website is an entirely different experience from talking in person for several reasons: a) the conversations are not as flowy and consistent; b) people tend to misread the tone of their companion; c) the etiquette is different in the online world, meaning things that might be considered rude in real life are normal in texting.
Not getting a response straight away is okay
Online conversations are similar to a ping pong game — you need to wait until they hit you up with a response before sending another message. If you are not hearing back from your potential suitor within a few minutes or even hours after sending a text, simply give them some time; maybe they are busy. Unlike talking in person, online chats give you a fantastic opportunity to take some time to come up with a good response, so take this time to think through your message.
Keep your messages short and precise
People use dating chats for fun and enjoyment, and if they wanted to read a novel, they would have downloaded a book instead of a matchmaking app. Hence, it is an unspoken rule to keep your texts short and simple that nobody usually talks about. People love texting because it saves time as it literally takes a few seconds to type and press the «send» button. Moreover, keeping your messages brief enables you to keep your conversation going for longer.
Always text back
Yes, we all love attention and want to see that our dating app matches enjoy talking to us, but making them double text us is not a good option to keep interested. This texting back rule of online dating etiquette is similar to the one in the offline world. If someone addresses us, we need to say something back; otherwise, people would think of us as impolite. People in the online world love honesty and openness; therefore, if you start to lose interest or the conversations you are having with a potential suitor are putting you off — say it!
How to properly behave when searching for love online?
Registering on a matchmaking solution is pretty straightforward these days; however, making it an effective tool to find genuine connections and love relationships is a real challenge. When you start to dig into the topic, you might realize it is not as simple as it sounds. Online dating is about manners, charisma, and psychology as well!
Your profile should reflect your personality
When setting up a profile on a dating site, make sure you show your potential matches a real picture of who you are and what your life looks like. All of us have insecurities, which make us want to appear better than we actually are. But if you are looking for a genuine and honest relationship, you need to start with self-acceptance.
Put up a picture of yourself that reflects who you are. Do not use photoshop or filters, which might mislead your online suitors because one day you would want to take this digital relationship into the physical world, and if you look different in person, it will put off your digital companion and cause your disappointment.
Add a few pictures that showcase your hobbies or how you prefer to spend time. If you are an avid golf player — add a photo of you at a golf course; similarly, if you enjoy going out with your friends — put up a new picture of you at a fancy bar you have recently visited.
Stay open to new people and conversations
Being shy and reserved on dating apps is a common mistake that newbies make. Being friendly and open to new people is compulsory dating site etiquette that must be followed. The basic idea behind matchmaking services is that users talk to each other to see whether they are compatible enough to meet in person.
It is unlikely for you to find a soulmate if you are too scared of talking to new people. Dating solutions are a fantastic tool that enables users to carry out multiple conversations at once, allowing singletons to spot a soulmate that ticks all the boxes. If you come across a profile that catches your attention, make sure to send them a short and sweet intro message. But try to be not too cheesy!
Be humble and honest
Honesty is the key to building healthy relationships; therefore, if you made a dating app profile to find real love, make sure you stay honest. Be honest about who you are, do not come up with fantastic stories about your life, tell them the real story! Whenever you realize you enjoy talking to your potential suitor, make sure you let them know.
Having offline conversations can be tricky at times because you get a feeling you might misread the intentions of the person on the other side; therefore, stating your feelings and attitudes would help. Another helpful approach where you can express your honesty and transparency is communicating your expectations. If you are using the platform to find friends with benefits, make sure the other person is aware of it; otherwise, you are misleading them and break the casual dating etiquette.
How to behave when dating starts in the offline world
Once you find a suitable match with whom you have been having lovely conversations, and they have been following all the unwritten digital rules, the time would eventually come to take your digital relationship further. But before you do so, it is advised to get acquainted with modern dating etiquette to ensure your date goes smoothly and you have a real chance to build a sustainable love relationship in the future.
First of all, it is important to understand when is the right time to set up a meeting with your online friend. Do not rush it and wait until both of you feel confident enough to meet in person. It is also essential to consider what days of the week would be suitable for both you and your match.
Don’t forget about manners
Second of all, manners matter! It is generally perceived very positively when you let your date know you are on your way or if you are running a little late. If you are the first to arrive, tell them that you are already waiting for them. When you are already on a date with your dating app suitor and not feeling the vibe, come up with a valid excuse to leave instead of simply going to the restroom and disappearing. It might seem obvious to the majority of people; however, according to statistics provided by matchmaking solutions, there are high numbers of users who do not follow through with these simple rules of politeness.
Finally, restrain your drinking, whether it is before the meeting or during the date. Seeing someone for the first time could be a very nerve-wracking experience, and people often tend to resort to ways of calming their anxiety, which leads to making a terrible first impression or even leaving you with a bad reputation. Therefore, try simply being yourself and remember that your date is probably feeling nervous too, why not just have fun about it?
