It is widely promoted in pop culture, movies and TV shows that when you find the love of your life, everything just falls into place and it is always magically the most suitable person for you in every way.
However, that beautiful picture often crumbles when faced with brutal reality. In real life, you need to actually get to know the person before commiting to a long-lasting relationship with them or even deciding if you want one. And when you meet someone, you might tend to fall for the things that only call for passion, not true soul bonding.
There is a modern-day alternative for meeting someone on the street or in a bar, where everything is set on instant attraction and you might miss important personality traits that you are, in fact, looking for in a person. This alternative is finding love online, and you can start your search right now.
How Do I Do It?
There are people who are uncertain about the type of a relationship they want to have. If you have a plan regarding your romantic life, like having a family in 5 years or just having a good time for as long as it lasts, it’s better to outline the area of your interests so that there is no miscommunication.
For example, if for you the perfect way to build a romantic relationship is through building a friendship first, it’s better if you find a person who has the same or a similar approach. So there it begins with how to find love online — writing down your expectations.
Describe what you are looking for
Prior to heading to dating websites, try sitting down with yourself or ask a close friend to help you. The goal of this face-to-face meeting with yourself is to create an image in your head of what you are searching for in a person of your dreams.
Do not try to describe precise appearance details as your taste might surprise you when you get to the online love search. Rather focus on personality attributes that will bring you closer, things you want to have in common (global worldview, life plans, etc.). This will eliminate the circle of people who you do not want to get acquainted with because they picture their life too differently and you might not be able to avoid conflict.
Try to imagine it as if you were at the bar and you wanted to try something new. You describe the things you already like to a bartender, so that he can prepare something based on this list, but not exactly with all the ingredients you described. It should not come as a standard, but it is meant to help you find a person who is in a search of something similar. Therefore, you will increase your chances of building something special.
Inspect global dating services
If you already have your preferences more or less in your head, there are only technicalities left on your way to finding your true love online. You would just need to find a website that meets your expectations regarding the user experience, safety and location.
There are services that provide global usage and you can adjust them to only show specific world areas, like the ones you are in right now, or any other ones if you are looking for someone from abroad. It might actually be interesting for you if you have never been in a relationship with someone foreign before.
You can learn a lot about how people from different countries can become close by focusing on their similarities and encouraging their cultural peculiarities. Treating the latter as something special, they can bring them to their relationship to spice it up a bit.
However, if you are used to your local cultural code, there should always be something for you, with a perk of easier real-life meetings when you already find love online. You can also ask around about services or social networks that your friends use. Online dating has grown in popularity drastically, so it is not a taboo anymore to discuss it in a friends’ circle.
Sign up and just text someone
There is something artists call a writer’s block, when you are afraid of a blank paper and the risks of messing it up. Unfortunately, the same thing might happen when you start scrolling through your possible matches on a dating service online.
However, the only solution is to find someone you might like and just text them. Usually, a simple «Hello» will suffice to start a conversation. Further on, you will find the things in common, inspect each other’s personalities and possibly fall in love.
Still, if it does not happen instantly, it is also natural and there is always someone else. So, in the end, you will be happy that nothing has ever grown out of the first unsuccessful attempts because you could have missed something really special waiting for you.
What Do I Talk About?
It is always worth speaking about the things you are passionate about. If you ask someone who is in love, they often say that the things that made them fall for another person were the things that made that person’s eyes sparkle in the first place.
If you have a hobby, a period in world history or a professional success that makes you talk non-stop out of joy, it is likely that when you tell someone else about it, they will experience positive emotions from your pure reaction. They might not be amused by the subject in the same way, but they will be excited because of your excitement.
Over time, people who talk and fall in love online, tend to develop common jokes and memes that also bring them together. Then, when meeting in person or video chatting for the first time, they have ice-breaking conversations and use those jokes to transfer their online personalities onto real people’s images.
Once you get used to someone and feel that bond, you both will ask a simple «How are you doing?» with a genuine interest and will understand each other’s ups and downs more clearly. For some couples, it comes very quickly, and then you can count on another person’s support and share your thoughts that will always have feedback if it is the right special one.
On the other hand, it is a big advantage of finding your love online that you get to filtrate the conversations you have with people, and if your personalities do not match (like if you are an extrovert and another person is too introverted for your liking), there is no pressure on you or that other person to continue the conversation, which would be rather pressing in real life.
How Do I Know It Is For Me?
The main reason why it is possible for anyone to find their love online is because it is completely adjustable and you can showcase your personality through photos and descriptions to make the impression you can manage.
In real life, there are always things we have no power over, so they can affect our love life negatively. For example, if you see someone you like and you would love to talk to them, but right at that moment you are in a big hurry because of your work. You would have time later, but that person would already be gone.
On the Internet, it is easier because you can select rather attractive parts of your personality that you would like another person to focus on and make an impression based on them. Then you could build something and get to know each other better, of course, but that first impression will always matter.
You become a sort of a poet when you write your profile’s description, because you need to bring life to a written word, so sometimes it’s also better to ask someone who knows you well to help you. Then, when a right person sees it on a dating service or a social network, it will create a positive image in their head, and you will have better chances of building a romance together.
There are a few cons that you can see in finding your love online, like if you are a tactile person and physical contact is very important for you. However, especially when everyone is focused on social distancing, it’s actually better if you build your trust first at least a little bit. And then you can always set up a date in real life if that also meets the other person’s expectations.
It is also even better if you have already figured out your common interests so that you will avoid real-life weird pauses when you do not know what to say. A genuine conversation with a few laughs and mutual understanding is an amazing ground for building a life-lasting relationship.